We live in a world where our phones are constantly attached to our person, whether it be in our bags, in our pockets or glued directly to our hands. While social media allows us to easily connect with people around the world, the potential to carry around an excessive amount of problems within these devices haunts us with just a single notification.
Social media is arguably one of the fastest growing innovations in the world today. It emerged as a concept in 1997 with a website called Six degrees, which enabled people to add others as friends and create a profile for themselves. From there, the concept grew and expanded across multiple websites, such as Facebook and Twitter, and more recently established mobile applications like Snapchat and Instagram.
With such a rapid change in the way we communicate and interact with others, one has to take a step back and wonder if our social media management is up to par. Specifically, how is social media affecting our mental and social health?
According to Mary Harris, a Communications professor at Monmouth University, “Social media platforms are designed to get people to keep checking and returning frequently,” says Harris. “Unfortunately, notifications via the like button operate like little hits of dopamine to the brain. And depending on the individual user, this causes an addiction to the constant feedback loop.”
When individuals are constantly engaging with social media, they are also exposing themselves to the distorted lifestyles of the people they follow.
Oftentimes, people want others to see them as happy and living an exciting life but, in reality, nobody’s lives are that perfect.
So why advertise your life as something it’s not? Social media provides people with the perfect opportunity to showcase themselves as the person they want to be rather than the person they are. So they’ll edit their photos and post about the cute thing their significant other did for them that day. What they won’t post are the photos they weren’t ready for or the fight they had with their significant other, you get the idea.
For people that suffer from issues relating to esteem and self-concept, social media is a breeding ground for exacerbating these problems. It is important to understand that others can edit what they want others to see as well as the fact that pictures can be airbrushed.
However, being a player in this game can cause people a great amount of stress. When the number of likes received on a post comes as a source of validation, it can lead to a heavy reliance on those likes. When considering the age groups that are exposed to this mindset through their social media use, one needs to take into account the younger generation, specifically millennials and adolescents.
Adreea Dilorenzo a Psychology professor points out that, social media users in this age group “are certainly at risk since they are experiencing hormonal changes and identity formations, both while being inexperienced. The continuous connection and the materials that they are exposed to can hinder logic."
While social media can be linked to anxiety, impulsiveness, self-comparison and depression, how we use it is more to blame than its existence. As users, it is our responsibility to be aware of the effect these platforms have on our lives. People need to become more media literate and educated on the effects media can potentially have on an individual, either consciously or subconsciously, so that they can be aware of and monitor the impact it’s having on their own lives.
Taking a step back from social media allows one to put into perspective what really matters in life. While partaking in social media, we tend to lose track of our reality because we are so infatuated with the events in the virtual world.
Try putting down the phone and have a face-to-face conversation with your friends. With the weather becoming nicer, take a step out into the fresh air, go on a walk with the family or take a ride around town to unwind. Just enjoy yourself but don’t do it for the opportunity to post on social media; do it for you.
Nature, And The Nature Of Environmentalism
Most people live their life surrounded by concrete, not nature. Some have racked up over a million miles of driving (flying) time during work in their various industries, and wear it like a badge of honour. I have personally moved in and out of apartments and cities, from some of my family and closest friends, forcing a cross-country drive anytime I want to see my grandparents and childhood mates.
Since childhood, my upbringing has involved my grandparents entreating me to become a true salt-of-the-earth person. Their aim; to spare the innocent future generation the likelihood of being hit with disasters not of their making. Even today, my grandparents do little long-distance travelling (if any). They may not drive an electric vehicle, but with their local lifestyle, my grandparents naturally have a pretty low-carbon footprint.
Some deem this lifestyle a parochial one.
Somewhere along the line, some people decided that lifestyles like those of my grandparents, rooted in small towns and content to stay there, were inferior and unsophisticated. We did this with little respect for the connection to the natural world around them that they may have, and without acknowledging the low-carbon footprint of their local ways of life. Yes, cities are the future for sustainable living, and being exposed to the world is important; yet, I am of the opinion that not seeing the benefits of such a lifestyle is short-sighted and hypocritical.
In his masterpiece "Creation: An Appeal to Save Life on Earth," Edward O. Wilson uses the term naturalist to refer to the type of person that he believes will be central to preserving the diversity of life on earth. To Wilson, naturalists include hunters, fishermen and agriculturalists. Wilson believes that those that have a deep understanding of and connection to nature are most likely to be successful in protecting it.
And the irrevocable fact is, Nature is in dire need of protection.
Thus, it is important for a new policy framework of enforcing environmentally friendly land use practices across countries, therefore be given an urgent priority (i.e. an integrated land use/ecosystem approach to conservation as the focus) to safeguard and protect the environment for both current and future generations.
This is not a simple matter of choice, I'd think, it is an obligation and responsibility we as a people must uphold and be held accountable for.
I very much respect those who take the mantle of championing the revival and maintenance of the purity of the natural environment.
We all have a responsibility to employ all means possible to check and resist the destruction on the environment for our own good and for the good of posterity. And whiles the oft-quoted saying “when the last tree dies, the last man dies” has now become a mere cliché, it must be noted that we destroy ourselves by destroying the environment.
My simple question to you my reader is....Have you ever planted and/or do you safeguard trees? If not, then might I say it's never too late!!!!!.
Since childhood, my upbringing has involved my grandparents entreating me to become a true salt-of-the-earth person. Their aim; to spare the innocent future generation the likelihood of being hit with disasters not of their making. Even today, my grandparents do little long-distance travelling (if any). They may not drive an electric vehicle, but with their local lifestyle, my grandparents naturally have a pretty low-carbon footprint.
Some deem this lifestyle a parochial one.
Somewhere along the line, some people decided that lifestyles like those of my grandparents, rooted in small towns and content to stay there, were inferior and unsophisticated. We did this with little respect for the connection to the natural world around them that they may have, and without acknowledging the low-carbon footprint of their local ways of life. Yes, cities are the future for sustainable living, and being exposed to the world is important; yet, I am of the opinion that not seeing the benefits of such a lifestyle is short-sighted and hypocritical.
In his masterpiece "Creation: An Appeal to Save Life on Earth," Edward O. Wilson uses the term naturalist to refer to the type of person that he believes will be central to preserving the diversity of life on earth. To Wilson, naturalists include hunters, fishermen and agriculturalists. Wilson believes that those that have a deep understanding of and connection to nature are most likely to be successful in protecting it.
And the irrevocable fact is, Nature is in dire need of protection.
Thus, it is important for a new policy framework of enforcing environmentally friendly land use practices across countries, therefore be given an urgent priority (i.e. an integrated land use/ecosystem approach to conservation as the focus) to safeguard and protect the environment for both current and future generations.
This is not a simple matter of choice, I'd think, it is an obligation and responsibility we as a people must uphold and be held accountable for.
I very much respect those who take the mantle of championing the revival and maintenance of the purity of the natural environment.
We all have a responsibility to employ all means possible to check and resist the destruction on the environment for our own good and for the good of posterity. And whiles the oft-quoted saying “when the last tree dies, the last man dies” has now become a mere cliché, it must be noted that we destroy ourselves by destroying the environment.
My simple question to you my reader is....Have you ever planted and/or do you safeguard trees? If not, then might I say it's never too late!!!!!.
Life Is Not Facilitated, Is It?
When situations are facilitated effectively – structures are taken into context, processes are created that boost efficiency and the right people are involved.
All good so far.
But as the title of this article suggests, life doesn’t always run this smoothly. Most personal and professional situations are beyond your control, so it’s difficult to facilitate them.
Life just isn’t naturally facilitated. It’s a melting pot of contexts, personalities, and variables and we’re all just doing our darn best to muddle through.
There are things you can do to implement elements of control and facilitate situations that come your way though. You might not get amazing results all the time, but you can head into situations with a blueprint for your own personal form of facilitation.
Hack the Hierarchy
Not everyone feels confident about speaking out and adding their thoughts.
Hacking the hierarchy means that people that are effective facilitators should try to sidestep the status-quo and come up with solutions and build relationships, regardless of whether they’re "senior" or otherwise.
Once you start to dismantle rigid structures at work or even home, people feel free to unleash their creativity more and aren’t as constrained by power dynamics. Making everyone feel equal can work wonders.
Avoid GroupThink
A tendency to groupthink in team and personal scenarios can also stifle the ideation process and prevent imaginative solutions.
For whatever reason, perhaps because of social etiquette, people have a tendency avoid disagreeing with the work and effort the leader has put into the schedule, even if they have better ideas. If a power dynamic or hierarchy is rigid then people might not say what they think. Urging people to get in contact with their thoughts privately is a great way to facilitate the thoughts of others on a topic, issue or subject matter on hand.
Emotional Intelligence
Being more open and authentic in relationships in your personal and professional life can really improve how you approach situations. Life isn’t smooth and expertly facilitated, but you can create more transparency with better communication.
Having emotional intelligence is an incredibly important skill in the modern school, workplace and home life, if not the most important. Empathising with others and being able to put yourself in their shoes means that you can think outside the box and from other people’s perspectives.
This strengthens your own ideas and the input you can encourage from those around you. You can connect with people in a way that makes them feel valued and part of a unit that wants to hear their contributions.
Embrace Diversity
Populations are becoming more and more diverse and with this comes different perspectives, ways of thinking and a range of creative problem-solving. As workplaces and situations embrace diversity, it’s important that a diversity of thought is applied to facilitating and getting the best out of people.
Finding ways to channel new ideas and perspectives is really important. Smaller groups, individual thinking, one-on-one meetings, and effective communication – these are all ways to build relationships with people to create contexts that can utilise the unique characteristics and traits people bring to the table.
Collaboration isn’t easy or natural when people are not feeling happy and satisfied with their situation.
Final Thoughts
Life is incredibly chaotic and unpredictable, which makes it almost impossible to facilitate properly. However, with the points I’ve highlighted, I hope you can work towards making it more open to facilitation. There are elements of your professional and personal life that you can influence, so working on those areas and moulding them in a way that makes them more controllable will help you to create better processes.
Trying to use your individual, unique traits to bring something new to situations and not being daunted by hierarchical power structures will help you to see scenarios more clearly and take action.
All good so far.
But as the title of this article suggests, life doesn’t always run this smoothly. Most personal and professional situations are beyond your control, so it’s difficult to facilitate them.
Life just isn’t naturally facilitated. It’s a melting pot of contexts, personalities, and variables and we’re all just doing our darn best to muddle through.
There are things you can do to implement elements of control and facilitate situations that come your way though. You might not get amazing results all the time, but you can head into situations with a blueprint for your own personal form of facilitation.
Hack the Hierarchy
Not everyone feels confident about speaking out and adding their thoughts.
Hacking the hierarchy means that people that are effective facilitators should try to sidestep the status-quo and come up with solutions and build relationships, regardless of whether they’re "senior" or otherwise.
Once you start to dismantle rigid structures at work or even home, people feel free to unleash their creativity more and aren’t as constrained by power dynamics. Making everyone feel equal can work wonders.
Avoid GroupThink
A tendency to groupthink in team and personal scenarios can also stifle the ideation process and prevent imaginative solutions.
For whatever reason, perhaps because of social etiquette, people have a tendency avoid disagreeing with the work and effort the leader has put into the schedule, even if they have better ideas. If a power dynamic or hierarchy is rigid then people might not say what they think. Urging people to get in contact with their thoughts privately is a great way to facilitate the thoughts of others on a topic, issue or subject matter on hand.
Emotional Intelligence
Being more open and authentic in relationships in your personal and professional life can really improve how you approach situations. Life isn’t smooth and expertly facilitated, but you can create more transparency with better communication.
Having emotional intelligence is an incredibly important skill in the modern school, workplace and home life, if not the most important. Empathising with others and being able to put yourself in their shoes means that you can think outside the box and from other people’s perspectives.
This strengthens your own ideas and the input you can encourage from those around you. You can connect with people in a way that makes them feel valued and part of a unit that wants to hear their contributions.
Embrace Diversity
Populations are becoming more and more diverse and with this comes different perspectives, ways of thinking and a range of creative problem-solving. As workplaces and situations embrace diversity, it’s important that a diversity of thought is applied to facilitating and getting the best out of people.
Finding ways to channel new ideas and perspectives is really important. Smaller groups, individual thinking, one-on-one meetings, and effective communication – these are all ways to build relationships with people to create contexts that can utilise the unique characteristics and traits people bring to the table.
Collaboration isn’t easy or natural when people are not feeling happy and satisfied with their situation.
Final Thoughts
Life is incredibly chaotic and unpredictable, which makes it almost impossible to facilitate properly. However, with the points I’ve highlighted, I hope you can work towards making it more open to facilitation. There are elements of your professional and personal life that you can influence, so working on those areas and moulding them in a way that makes them more controllable will help you to create better processes.
Trying to use your individual, unique traits to bring something new to situations and not being daunted by hierarchical power structures will help you to see scenarios more clearly and take action.
Power
Power can seem like a scary concept, but we all have elements of positive power that can help us to move forward in our personal and professional lives.
And power doesn’t have to be gifted to you, you can generate it from within yourself and in whatever context you find yourself in.
Owning power helps you to make good, authentic decisions. You’ll feel more confident and people will be drawn to you.
How can you define and own your power?
Vulnerability is Strength
Being ‘powerful’ conjures up images of weightlifting and flipping cars over, but it’s not about physical strength. It’s not even about being mentally strong and positive all the time.
Vulnerability is power. Recognising when you’re not performing at your best or you’re having a bad day and reaching out to people or accepting your situation is powerful.
You don’t have to maintain the persona that everything is great all the time. Asking for help isn’t a weakness. Truly powerful people aren’t afraid to acknowledge their shortcomings or things they can’t do and need a helping hand with. And the same goes for acknowledging fears too.
Ambition
We all have ambition as students, parents, and workers but being bold about your ambition is another thing. Lots of people struggle with ambition. Ambition can be awkward. Telling people what you want out of life can be frightening because what if you don’t achieve it? By telling people about it, they’ll hold you accountable for your ambition.
When you don’t declare your ambition to anyone and keep it a secret, you’re keeping your ambition small and hidden. It probably won’t grow, because you’re reducing its power.
Telling friends or family about what you want from life doesn’t mean they’ll be monitoring your progress in minute detail – it usually means that they’ll support you on your journey.
One of the first ways to define and own your power is to determine what goals it’s going to propel you towards. Seek out mentors and a supportive network to talk to about your ambitions, the moment you do, you’ll give your ambitions more power.
Positive thoughts
When you’re talking yourself down, you’re giving negative thoughts your power. Sometimes, you don’t notice how much negative thinking you do during an average day – when it’s ingrained in your perspective and way of looking at the world, it can be tough to shake off.
As a millennial making a conscious decision to replace your negative thoughts with positive or neutral thinking, you can start to reprogram your mind. Negativity can sabotage your power because it stops you from doing things that help you to achieve your ambitions and feel more powerful. You might not take action because of it. Don’t limit yourself.
Add Value
Owning your power is all about how you use it around others too. Becoming a mentor or supporter for others can help you to encourage others on their own positive journey.
You can do this by noting down and recognising the value that you bring in a company or at home. What are you good at? Next, you can use your value to lead others and contribute.
By promoting and supporting others around you, you’ll build meaningful relationships which are a form of power. Being powerful can be through positive communication and advocating for others.
In the long-term, this will help you to build a mutually beneficial support network where you can champion each other.
Prioritise Growth
'Adopting a growth mindset and continually looking for and seeking out opportunities that can lead to personal and professional growth can help to build your confidence and naturally you will feel more powerful' Bryan Kramer.
Grasping opportunities can feel daunting, but whether they have positive or negative consequences, you will grow from them as a result. The process of getting out of your comfort zone and opening yourself up to vulnerability is a powerful act.
Search for ways to grow.
Final Thoughts
Power isn’t about physical macho strength, it’s about using your unique qualities to share ideas, build connections and become your own personal entertainer. Owning your power and acknowledging your ambition will help you to move forward.
And power doesn’t have to be gifted to you, you can generate it from within yourself and in whatever context you find yourself in.
Owning power helps you to make good, authentic decisions. You’ll feel more confident and people will be drawn to you.
How can you define and own your power?
Vulnerability is Strength
Being ‘powerful’ conjures up images of weightlifting and flipping cars over, but it’s not about physical strength. It’s not even about being mentally strong and positive all the time.
Vulnerability is power. Recognising when you’re not performing at your best or you’re having a bad day and reaching out to people or accepting your situation is powerful.
You don’t have to maintain the persona that everything is great all the time. Asking for help isn’t a weakness. Truly powerful people aren’t afraid to acknowledge their shortcomings or things they can’t do and need a helping hand with. And the same goes for acknowledging fears too.
Ambition
We all have ambition as students, parents, and workers but being bold about your ambition is another thing. Lots of people struggle with ambition. Ambition can be awkward. Telling people what you want out of life can be frightening because what if you don’t achieve it? By telling people about it, they’ll hold you accountable for your ambition.
When you don’t declare your ambition to anyone and keep it a secret, you’re keeping your ambition small and hidden. It probably won’t grow, because you’re reducing its power.
Telling friends or family about what you want from life doesn’t mean they’ll be monitoring your progress in minute detail – it usually means that they’ll support you on your journey.
One of the first ways to define and own your power is to determine what goals it’s going to propel you towards. Seek out mentors and a supportive network to talk to about your ambitions, the moment you do, you’ll give your ambitions more power.
Positive thoughts
When you’re talking yourself down, you’re giving negative thoughts your power. Sometimes, you don’t notice how much negative thinking you do during an average day – when it’s ingrained in your perspective and way of looking at the world, it can be tough to shake off.
As a millennial making a conscious decision to replace your negative thoughts with positive or neutral thinking, you can start to reprogram your mind. Negativity can sabotage your power because it stops you from doing things that help you to achieve your ambitions and feel more powerful. You might not take action because of it. Don’t limit yourself.
Add Value
Owning your power is all about how you use it around others too. Becoming a mentor or supporter for others can help you to encourage others on their own positive journey.
You can do this by noting down and recognising the value that you bring in a company or at home. What are you good at? Next, you can use your value to lead others and contribute.
By promoting and supporting others around you, you’ll build meaningful relationships which are a form of power. Being powerful can be through positive communication and advocating for others.
In the long-term, this will help you to build a mutually beneficial support network where you can champion each other.
Prioritise Growth
'Adopting a growth mindset and continually looking for and seeking out opportunities that can lead to personal and professional growth can help to build your confidence and naturally you will feel more powerful' Bryan Kramer.
Grasping opportunities can feel daunting, but whether they have positive or negative consequences, you will grow from them as a result. The process of getting out of your comfort zone and opening yourself up to vulnerability is a powerful act.
Search for ways to grow.
Final Thoughts
Power isn’t about physical macho strength, it’s about using your unique qualities to share ideas, build connections and become your own personal entertainer. Owning your power and acknowledging your ambition will help you to move forward.
Ignorance And Respect
We talk down to the maid like she’s a failed existence. We shout instructions to the less privileged as though he’s a fool. We look away from the homeless man as if he doesn’t exist. To some folks, these people are invisible.
Did you ever consider that these people have pride like you and me, they have feelings like you and me, and they have desires like you and me? In fact, we’re alike on so many levels because when you look beneath the surface, we all want many of the same simple things in life.
Yet some don’t see it that way. If they don’t look like us, they must be dangerous; if they are coloured differently, they must be lesser; if they don’t sound like us, they must be ignorant; and if they don’t agree with us, they must be evil.
Do power, money, and status make someone better? Do they give anyone the right to be arrogant, disrespectful, or rude? I think not. While accomplishments indicate that people are successful, they don’t give anyone the right to dehumanise others and treat them as second-class citizens or humans for that matter.
One of the reasons this occurs is due to divisions that we intentionally create or that are thrust upon us. Instead of emphasising commonalities that bring people together, we artificially separate ourselves into distinct groups that accentuate our differences.
If your success was earned through hard work and honesty, don’t apologise for it. There’s nothing wrong with living the good life (I don't think). You’ve earned it. But if you think power, money, and status give you the right to be rude, disrespectful, or condescending, you’ve got it all wrong. No one should be treated like they’re invisible.
The truth is, while power, money, and status indicate that you’re successful, it’s not what you have but who you are that counts. As a millennial treating people with dignity and respect says more about you than trying to prove how important you are. Living with honour says more about you than achieving your wealth by selling your soul. Making a difference in people’s lives say more about you than enriching your own life.
As John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach, said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
Be the person who sees the best in people, makes them feel good about themselves, and brightens their day. Bring the invisible people out into the light. You’ll be a positive force for good in their lives, and you’ll feel good about yourself, too.
Be the change you want to see by simply learning to appreciate one simple and often overused word; RESPECT.
Did you ever consider that these people have pride like you and me, they have feelings like you and me, and they have desires like you and me? In fact, we’re alike on so many levels because when you look beneath the surface, we all want many of the same simple things in life.
Yet some don’t see it that way. If they don’t look like us, they must be dangerous; if they are coloured differently, they must be lesser; if they don’t sound like us, they must be ignorant; and if they don’t agree with us, they must be evil.
Do power, money, and status make someone better? Do they give anyone the right to be arrogant, disrespectful, or rude? I think not. While accomplishments indicate that people are successful, they don’t give anyone the right to dehumanise others and treat them as second-class citizens or humans for that matter.
One of the reasons this occurs is due to divisions that we intentionally create or that are thrust upon us. Instead of emphasising commonalities that bring people together, we artificially separate ourselves into distinct groups that accentuate our differences.
If your success was earned through hard work and honesty, don’t apologise for it. There’s nothing wrong with living the good life (I don't think). You’ve earned it. But if you think power, money, and status give you the right to be rude, disrespectful, or condescending, you’ve got it all wrong. No one should be treated like they’re invisible.
The truth is, while power, money, and status indicate that you’re successful, it’s not what you have but who you are that counts. As a millennial treating people with dignity and respect says more about you than trying to prove how important you are. Living with honour says more about you than achieving your wealth by selling your soul. Making a difference in people’s lives say more about you than enriching your own life.
As John Wooden, the legendary basketball coach, said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
Be the person who sees the best in people, makes them feel good about themselves, and brightens their day. Bring the invisible people out into the light. You’ll be a positive force for good in their lives, and you’ll feel good about yourself, too.
Be the change you want to see by simply learning to appreciate one simple and often overused word; RESPECT.
Panic Attacks.
“Keep calm and carry on.” That’s what everyone tells you to do, right? When your chest is hurting and it feels like you can barely breathe, just pretend everything is normal and fine, right? When your heart is sitting too heavy in your chest, and it feels as delicate as a piece of glass that can shatter upon hard impact—everything’s fine, right?
Well, I have never personally experienced these particular emotions but a conversation with a friend brought me to a startling and quite frankly worrying realisation, that even though people do smile outwardly that within they might be feeling anything but.
It is quite worrying to note that the pressure cooker that is society (family, work and school especially) has bizarre and often outrageous expectations that is ingrained within some individuals at a very young age, and to cope, cases like panic attacks and blackouts are used as defence mechanisms.
Sometimes these expectations are fostered out of love, to help develop a strong work ethic that would help the millennial succeed in school (work) and provide opportunities for a worthwhile future (which most often than not it does). But...like everything else there are always exceptions.
Uncommon as they may be, there are indeed instances when societal pressure comes to a head within the individual that results in them suffering panic attacks. If not dealt with delicately, some severe cases lead to suicide and sometimes even assault on people in their immediate surroundings.
A panic attack and its symptoms of tremendous anxiety can strike suddenly and out of the blue. While a panic attack itself may be brief, it can lead to a lasting fear of having another episode. When panic attacks and the fear of having attacks occur repeatedly, people are said to have a panic disorder or anxiety disorder.
"People have these panic attacks under various circumstances,” explains Martin N. Seif, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City and Greenwich, Conn. They constantly worry about having an attack and often avoid certain situations as a result.
There is thus, a real fear of the person withdrawing within and creating a barrier around themselves as a form of protection against people and situations that cause recurrence.
Therapy is a great way to help unbottle the pent up emotions within the individual. It is thus important to note that there are indeed Therapist who help in the management and sometimes even in some cases helping one rid themself of said disorder.
Above all else, it is important to understand and acknowledge that as people within a society we are allowed to be imperfect and to make mistakes, we are allowed to take time to focus on ourselves..And, maybe most of all, WE are allowed to breathe and just be human.
Well, I have never personally experienced these particular emotions but a conversation with a friend brought me to a startling and quite frankly worrying realisation, that even though people do smile outwardly that within they might be feeling anything but.
It is quite worrying to note that the pressure cooker that is society (family, work and school especially) has bizarre and often outrageous expectations that is ingrained within some individuals at a very young age, and to cope, cases like panic attacks and blackouts are used as defence mechanisms.
Sometimes these expectations are fostered out of love, to help develop a strong work ethic that would help the millennial succeed in school (work) and provide opportunities for a worthwhile future (which most often than not it does). But...like everything else there are always exceptions.
Uncommon as they may be, there are indeed instances when societal pressure comes to a head within the individual that results in them suffering panic attacks. If not dealt with delicately, some severe cases lead to suicide and sometimes even assault on people in their immediate surroundings.
A panic attack and its symptoms of tremendous anxiety can strike suddenly and out of the blue. While a panic attack itself may be brief, it can lead to a lasting fear of having another episode. When panic attacks and the fear of having attacks occur repeatedly, people are said to have a panic disorder or anxiety disorder.
"People have these panic attacks under various circumstances,” explains Martin N. Seif, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City and Greenwich, Conn. They constantly worry about having an attack and often avoid certain situations as a result.
There is thus, a real fear of the person withdrawing within and creating a barrier around themselves as a form of protection against people and situations that cause recurrence.
Therapy is a great way to help unbottle the pent up emotions within the individual. It is thus important to note that there are indeed Therapist who help in the management and sometimes even in some cases helping one rid themself of said disorder.
Above all else, it is important to understand and acknowledge that as people within a society we are allowed to be imperfect and to make mistakes, we are allowed to take time to focus on ourselves..And, maybe most of all, WE are allowed to breathe and just be human.
Letting Go Of Your Perfect
The strive for perfection is timeless and elusive. We all want to do our best but having expectations built on perfectionism can end up being restricting and leading to tunnel vision. And at worst they can lead to bad decisions and burn-out.
Being able to let go of lofty, impossible perfection can help you see life through a different lens. Throwing out the need to prove something to yourself and to others at all times means that you can rid yourself of ridiculous self-imposed expectations you wouldn’t dream of having for others.
So, why have these expectations for yourself?
Drive the latest car, go to the best restaurants, have rich parents, have the perfect partner. It sounds perfect, right?
But is it really perfection? Do these things guarantee happiness and fulfilment? Probably not and the dogged effort to maintain them can be mentally and physically exhausting.
Fear Drives Perfection`
At its core, perfectionism is fuelled by fear. Fear of what happens if you fail or don’t get the result you wanted. Fear about what to tell your family and friends if you fall short. The fear of not being good enough can thus be completely overwhelming.
It’s completely understandable to feel fear too. Our society is a pressure cooker after all, where we’re acutely aware of arbitrary milestones and targets we feel like we should be reaching. Money, success, followers, kids, women (men), cars – whatever metric it is, we can feel a failure or weird if we’re not living up to what we think society expects.
Even when you’re achieving success externally, this doesn’t mean you’ll feel internally happy. The fear that’s driving your perfection is built around societal pressure and expectations and often there’s a clash between what you think society wants from you and what you truly want to achieve.
The most outwardly ‘successful’ people can still be unhappy. They’re busting a gut every day to try and maintain their successful lifestyle, but it still doesn’t seem enough.
Why is that? Perhaps it’s because their version of success and the goals they’re aiming for never really came from them at all.
It’s what they think they should be doing, not what they want to be doing.
Pressure and fear designed their path. And not feeling good and fulfilled in the perfect life you’re trying to achieve makes it difficult to see and identify what it is that you actually want to do.
I entreat you then to crash through the limiting idea that society defines your goals and objectives. What are your values? What do you believe in? What drives you? Look at the world differently and remove unrealistic goals and focus on using the effort that it takes to maintain perfection for working on being your true self.
When you start making changes and take actions that align with your inner value system and passions, you’ll feel authentic and confident. Trying to be something you’re not is exhausting mentally, so try to make progress and make decisions that are based on what you actually believe in.
Letting go of perfect can help you to manage your expectations in a healthy way and look for ways of living that offer true authentic accomplishment.
What I really think is worthwhile is learning to accept. Learning to accept that anything other than perfect is absolutely fine. Once you learn this lesson, your life just got a whole lot happier.
Being able to let go of lofty, impossible perfection can help you see life through a different lens. Throwing out the need to prove something to yourself and to others at all times means that you can rid yourself of ridiculous self-imposed expectations you wouldn’t dream of having for others.
So, why have these expectations for yourself?
Drive the latest car, go to the best restaurants, have rich parents, have the perfect partner. It sounds perfect, right?
But is it really perfection? Do these things guarantee happiness and fulfilment? Probably not and the dogged effort to maintain them can be mentally and physically exhausting.
Fear Drives Perfection`
At its core, perfectionism is fuelled by fear. Fear of what happens if you fail or don’t get the result you wanted. Fear about what to tell your family and friends if you fall short. The fear of not being good enough can thus be completely overwhelming.
It’s completely understandable to feel fear too. Our society is a pressure cooker after all, where we’re acutely aware of arbitrary milestones and targets we feel like we should be reaching. Money, success, followers, kids, women (men), cars – whatever metric it is, we can feel a failure or weird if we’re not living up to what we think society expects.
Even when you’re achieving success externally, this doesn’t mean you’ll feel internally happy. The fear that’s driving your perfection is built around societal pressure and expectations and often there’s a clash between what you think society wants from you and what you truly want to achieve.
The most outwardly ‘successful’ people can still be unhappy. They’re busting a gut every day to try and maintain their successful lifestyle, but it still doesn’t seem enough.
Why is that? Perhaps it’s because their version of success and the goals they’re aiming for never really came from them at all.
It’s what they think they should be doing, not what they want to be doing.
Pressure and fear designed their path. And not feeling good and fulfilled in the perfect life you’re trying to achieve makes it difficult to see and identify what it is that you actually want to do.
I entreat you then to crash through the limiting idea that society defines your goals and objectives. What are your values? What do you believe in? What drives you? Look at the world differently and remove unrealistic goals and focus on using the effort that it takes to maintain perfection for working on being your true self.
When you start making changes and take actions that align with your inner value system and passions, you’ll feel authentic and confident. Trying to be something you’re not is exhausting mentally, so try to make progress and make decisions that are based on what you actually believe in.
Letting go of perfect can help you to manage your expectations in a healthy way and look for ways of living that offer true authentic accomplishment.
What I really think is worthwhile is learning to accept. Learning to accept that anything other than perfect is absolutely fine. Once you learn this lesson, your life just got a whole lot happier.
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