Why Persistence?

“I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult. I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.” — Og Mandino.

          Such is the nature of life that no matter what you do there is always the possibility that one will face difficulty. No matter how well laid out your plans are, there will be times when things don't exactly go according to plan, when the world seems to be against you and moments when you FAIL!

We are a truly unique existence, in us, hope and anguish can coexist and still create something truly amazing. Persistence is the ability to maintain action regardless of your feelings. You press on even when you feel like quitting, until you achieve that important goal.

So now you wonder how are you supposed to keep up your spirits when it seems like the whole world is against you? How does one keep fighting the good fight when you don’t have it in you to go another round, let alone another day, week, month or years, even?

Einstein once said “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” The simple truth is that when we face adversity in our lives, when the storm of life threatens to up-end everything we have worked for, it is during moments like these when our confidence and self esteem is so low that we feel worthless, when the easy thing to do is to quit and perhaps attempt something different, something new: These are the moments when we need persistence the most.

It is so very easy to just give up and start anew. this is exactly what a majority of us do because it is a natural human tendency to pick the easy way. Everybody enjoys the fun and easy things in life in contrast nobody really likes the grind and hard stuff. Unfortunately, when one is not willing to persist and instead quits whenever the going gets tough, it almost always leads to long term failure in life as they never really stick with something long enough for it to truly flourish or bare fruit.

Much of persistence is based on the fundamental prerequisite of focus as I elaborated in THIS post. Focus is the pathway to persistence, therefore, being able to focus and trudge on through periods of adversity stands you in good stead to achieve something of real meaning and value in life.

When you work on any big goal, your motivation can wax and wane. Sometimes you’ll feel motivated; sometimes you won’t. But it’s not your motivation that will produce results — it’s your action. The decision to persist. To make progress even when you don’t feel like it. From my personal experiences and observation this is what truly sets the people who succeed and those who do not apart.

Very often when you persist through difficult times you realize that you learn something that will help you progress farther than you could before. Persistence, per its very nature ensures that one who indulges in it comes out a better person for it. And as Richard M. Devos put it “If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. “Here comes number seventy-one!” 

Don’t lose sight of your hopes and your dreams, but also don’t forget about what you have in the present moment. Keep your focus and as Dale Carnegie said, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” So therefore, keep on moving, keep on being persistent and don’t ever give up, no matter how long it takes to achieve your dreams.

Stay Focused.

          In a world where we praise the multitasker, where devices with myriad functions are always considered superior, and where the ability to work from anywhere often means we never stop doing so, Focus is a skill too easily tossed aside and ignored yet essential if we are to make headway in our ventures and endeavours.

The reality is that when we try to juggle many tasks at once, we often never finish any one of them fully. We talk about doing many things and ultimately do very few, often leaving efforts unfinished or abandoned. We basically barely get anything done as a result of overstretching our body and mind.

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In an effort to be more productive, social, and informed (all at once), we most often than not rather end up slowing down, running in circles, and becoming more isolated and less informed than we ever were before.

So why don’t we just stop and take a breather? Why do we keep firing on all engines, even if we can tell we’re losing a sense of direction?

The result of multitasking on our everyday relationships is that we become only superficially committed to one another. The palpable social pressure governing our online communities often pushes us to abandon difficulty, rather than stick with tough tasks. It creates a certain disharmony between our Social media statuses and the actual reality within which we live.

Myself, I believe in the positive impact social media "can" have in the lives of millennials and the youth. 

It is of importance, to come to the realisation that only someone who is healthy, happy, and focused can build relationships on trust and respect (of any kind really).

How often do we miss things along our paths because we’re distracted by other worries and concerns? Staying focused means being mindful, aware of, and awake to the world around you, and that can be a tall order in a world where we’re bombarded with one hundred new hours of YouTube content every minute together with a self imposed addiction to WhatsApp-ing, doing us no favours in our quest to be focused in life and her nuances.

There are a number of ways to start cultivating focus in your everyday life. One I personally love is actually a game where friends pile their phones face down on the table when out for dinner (whoever picks up his or her phone first pays the whole bill! neat right??).

Another one is when at least once a week, you try to institute a policy whereby. throughout your day you don't answer any text messages or even check your phone (is that even possible?) when communicating with others.

Great gains are achieved when you focus on yourself—not the you projected on Facebook or Twitter but the you who emerges when you’re silent and unplugged.

Whether in your mind, in your neighborhood, or across the ocean, there are so many ways one can stay focused. Focus is the everyday ambassador’s antidote to multitasking pressures and the flagging commitment it perpetuates. This means developing habits to follow through with our ambitions—or simply setting realistic goals in the first place. In a world where we communicate in 140-character quips and goofy GIFs, we need to work harder if we are to keep our passion alive, and as well, when it comes to human interaction, we must be fully involved and focused to gain more from ourselves and life in general.

Of Shoes And Giggles

          I am seated in a vehicle, an unlucky passenger to a truly abhorring exchange between a young man who looks to be in his late teens or early twenties and a member of what my fellow country men dub, with affection, a "Senior citizen". What were they "arguing" (if you want to call it that, because from my perspective it was more of a one sided badgering) over, one might wonder. Apparently earlier that week the young man bought a new SHOE (guy can talk) and the elderly gentleman had done himself the disfavour of daring to actually step on the said young man's pristine white SHOE, mistakenly or not (How dare he).

Yes you read that right a SHOE. I was caught between a fit of giggles (manly ones mind you) and the reality that the very values our predecessors held dear and passed down (was supposed to anyway) is gradually fading from today's youth and millennials, yes Us!!

Now lets take a step back and look around us. I mean kids do crazy things, but we expect more from grown-ups, don’t we? Especially when you consider yourself an adult and expect others to too. Then surely your behaviour must reflect these thoughts and as one of my favourite excerpt states "Action Not Words".

When you find folks screaming obscenities at each other on the road, on social media and perhaps in your very own household?, what crosses your mind? There are some that behave this way for personal gain; some others don’t know any better; and others know they’ll get away with it — because they have in the past. The simple truth is: some grown-ups never grow up.

As leaders, role models, parents and (yes) even the youth, we must utilise every opportunity to reinforce the values that we hold dear. 

Are polite manners a thing of the past? I think not but if we don’t promote good values, then the situation I found myself in becomes the norm and that certainly doesn't sound like a bright future does it? Surely had the young man taken the Senior Citizen at his word and accepted his apology gracefully he would have been a better man for it and I wouldn't have been tempted to giggle (mhmm manly ones I repeat) at the very reasoning behind his anger (which I still cannot fathom).

The fact is these situations are a very common occurrence. Therefore, it is important that we don't blur the difference between right and wrong. Compromising our principles in a fit of anger or in defiance to authority. If we want to live in a moral and civil society, then we must be the change we want to see. If you are a grown-up then behave like the adult that you (think) are.

Today Not Tomorrow.

          “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That‘s why we call it the present.” Babatunde Olatunji.

So what do you do with your today? Robert Frost chose the road maligned by most, he took no detours nor did he allow any hurdle to block his way, and as he stated “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all of the difference” 

For sure all that is certain is this very moment.

My thoughts have a tendency to jump all over the place; I can never seem to just be in the present moment. If I am not thinking about my future plans, I’m reflecting on my past actions and how they led me to where I am in that very moment. But then I remember what the Good book says in Mathew 6:34 that, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own."

I know I am not the only one who suffers from overthinking. If I am, why then has a book been published on the topic? Eckhart Tolle -- a genius, in my opinion -- wrote a powerful book entitled, “The Power Of Now.”

It is not easy to fully be present in the very moment you are living. It takes strong will to let go of the past and allow the future unknown to unfold itself without worry. The very nature of the future is itself a mystery and thus subject to change as decisions good or otherwise, made, affect the course of our future.

It’s in our nature to remember the past, to allow it to envelope us with thoughts of speculation. My advice is to not relive what was, but instead, to pave a new path.

When your head’s stuck in the past or the future, your actions won’t be based on your current reality and you’ll have essentially given away your agency to make the very best of this situation. Because “Today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday” as Dale Carnegie succinctly put it.

Do not concern yourself with the future, for tomorrow is never promised; your past does not determine your future. Live today with the mindset that it is your last, do not sell your values, belief, identity and being for a future established on shattered dreams, broken promises and destroyed values.

Stressing over the future can throw you off track from your destiny.

Today, not tomorrow — all we have is now.

A Little Peek Into My World

          If you were to ask me when I first discovered my penchant for writing, I would point to when my father used to dictate stories for my younger brother and I to write down. I noticed then that even though I was not the brightest chap on the block, I had a tendency to almost forget myself in the stories themselves (My younger brother normally won this contest anyways).

However, even as I got older, whenever I thought about what I aspired to be, I had a nagging feeling that writing was always going to be a mainstay someway somehow. 

Now I’m twenty-one and still enamoured with writing but for a different reason. Instead of writing stories dictated to me by my father with the aim of winning a contest, I find that best stories are those encompassed in the real world. 

I find stories in everyday life, whether in the realm of politics, personal or social issues plaguing our society today. Heck, even in myself and my own experiences, there’s a vast array of topics to expound upon that other people can find relatable and engaging— and to me it's as if the universe was an open book of empty pages eager to be discovered.

As I continue to work towards what I aspire to be, I look at my surroundings—my brothers having already left for school, myself in the couch of the living room waiting for the downpour to stop, I sit facing a blank document on a laptop screen—and I remember why I love writing. How empowered I feel when I address issues of National and perhaps more importantly of individual and millennial interest, my hope that these questions and personal experiences I share forces people to feel as if they have discovered something new for themselves.

Writing puts things into perspective. In a humbling way, it lets you see things the way they should be seen.

When I immerse myself in my writing, I seek the feeling of transferring my words to strike a chord within myself and especially my readers.

As I sit in front of my laptop, it's almost mid-day and the downpour has just subsided. I have an epiphany, I come to the realisation that my self-esteem and sense of worth flourishes whenever I go back to read some of the things I’ve written down helping put things in perspective in my life, I realise that with the right kind of motivation and willingness...I can do anything and guess what...so can you.

Shaping Our Future: The Role Of The Family And Society

          As research suggests, more than 300 million people around the world now suffer from depression, and the number of children, youth and millennials suffering from this is significant. But as strange as it may seem, children and youth who receive their basic needs are contributing the most to this number. Of the many factors behind depression, society’s obdurate attitude towards a youth’s choice in career is one, though we are the least concerned about that.

Every child is born with immense potential and innumerable possibilities. As he or she grows up, genetics as well as nurturing play a vital role in this process. But as a human being, every youth creates his or her own world apart from all those family teachings and school lessons.

As we grow, we develop our own sense of ethics, moral values and mannerisms. We learn to distinguish between right and wrong, what kind of interests we have, and develop a sense of purpose in life in our own way.

This is quite a natural phenomenon. Obviously, family as well as other elements of society take part in the process; however, problems arise when we are forced to abide by certain beliefs and expectations in life. Parents and society’s expectations should never be the deciding factor in the path a child takes when he or she is ready to pursue his or her own life goals.

It is quite illogical as well as immoral to force a child to make a certain career choice. The problem is more blatant in the under-developed and developing countries. It is a common scenario that parents make their children take science/mathematics/humanities courses without taking the child’s own choices into consideration. And when they fail to demonstrate their adeptness and proficiency in those fields, these children get admonished and eventually they find themselves drowning in abysmal despair.

Statistics don’t always tell the truth! Despite being provided with all their basic needs, these children suffer from the anxiety and stress of meeting expectations and being forced to take paths in life that are not their own.

Parents should never force their own path and expectations on their children, they should consider supporting them with their own interests and endeavours. When one can work with whatever he or she likes, and nurture their passions, it becomes possible to make meaningful contributions to society in our own way.

In his famous book “The Prophet” (one of my all time favourite reads),  Kahlil Gibran writes, “they are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you, but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.”

This delineates the actual responsibilities of parents and society’s expectations towards children, and it is sage advice for those who attempt to control a child’s future.

All should show their sincere-most attitude for the nourishment and total betterment of each and every child around them. For a better world, we should all work harder to ensure basic human rights for all children as well as the ability to let them nurture and grow in their own way. Hence, we will be able to keep accelerating the growth and prosperity of human civilization.

Authentic Relationships

          As individuals, we are at our most relaxed and reposed best when we create and maintain close relationships or connections with our fellow humans. Building genuine connections however can be difficult – especially when you’re a young adult or millennial.

Our world is so complex and there’s so much digital architecture being created that we the youth end up building barriers between ourselves and achieving intimacy and connections. We’re being encouraged to believe that everyone wants to be interacted with at arm’s length, through a screen and not face to face or in real-time.

Excellent interpersonal connections can enhance the way that you make friends, your interpersonal interactions and your career prospects. Building intimacy needs a foundation of authenticity, which means embracing our own individuality and being confident when we communicate it to others.

Taking the time to get to know people and connecting with said people, can lead to a better understanding of them and in the long-term ourselves too. Misunderstandings can be rife when we don’t fully comprehend how others think, their perspectives and their motivations.

Understanding others helps to create key allies and we can do this by aligning the way we approach and interact with people we want to connect with.

Undoubtedly, authentic empathy doesn’t come naturally to some people, but if it’s a trait you possess then embracing it is paramount. High-quality connections are created when people feel valued and engaged, conducting yourself with empathy is a big part of this.

How can you start to practice empathy? Self-awareness and the ability to reflect are a massive part of this process and if you can learn to be constructively critical of your own actions and ideas in accordance with how they affect others around you, you’re on your way there I'd say.

It’s natural for us as humans to seek out close and authentic relationships with others and we shouldn’t neglect this no matter our circumstance, in an era where technology is creating more and more distance it is important for us to keep and protect our personal relations.

By trying to connect with others and using emotional intelligence, empathy, and humility to build relationships, you’ll find that people around you respond in a better way and you can have a deeper mutual connection and understanding.